Baby Steps

I have a few days before I have to make a very, very large decision.

It's one of those things that I know I NEED to say "YES!" to, that if I say "no," well...Sigh.

But it's hard. I sit here and doubt myself. If I can't motivate myself to jog while the sun is out and it's my day off, how am I going to navigate, let alone survive, a whole different world?

How does one learn self-motivation?

Once, a counselor told me to trick myself into doing something. "Baby steps," she said, "tell yourself, 'I'm just going to get out of bed, I'm just going to put on my running gear, I'm just going to step out the door." I guess I need to try this again, because at one time it did work.

I'm scared, really, scared of failing--that I'll go to NYC and not do well, that I won't improve, that I won't be able to afford it, that I'll have to come down back to live with my parents.

Baby steps, baby steps.