The Fear, (or) The Uncertainty
No, my car's not sold. The title has not yet arrived. And as of right now, it looks like I may be driving that thing into the ground. SIGH. I don't even really know what that phrase means.
In the past week I've been thinking about my future. Yes, that's almost a constant thought, but I began seriously planning steps. Began thinking things through more.
What do I want to be? I want to be an actor. But I've also always had a large heart for philanthropy. I want to do something positive, something that really changes people's lives.
A friend of mine knows someone who went to Bangladesh for a year and worked at an orphanage. Her only assigned duty was to teach two classes each day, but she found that the real reason she was hired was to love the kids. She'd just spend time with them, play with them, hug them...Now I've never been someone who loves kids, but I've found doing massage therapy that my favorite clients are younger. Like eleven or twelve. Parents often ignore muscle pains in that age group for being growing pains and don't realize how good massage is for them. Massage also helps children develop the part of their brain that processes love. Well, physical touch does this, but massage can really help kids catch up. It's recommended by child psychologists that kids adopted from other countries receive massage so they become well-rounded individuals.
And so my heart wants two things: to go to the Yale school of drama and to go to Bangladesh.
Let's ignore for a second the fact that I will probably not get into Yale. This fall, my last year at Walla Walla, I'll apply to several masters programs, including Yale. I may be asked to fly to Chicago or San Fransisco to audition. If I get accepted, I'll go to Yale next fall. If I'm not, I'll re-apply next fall and need to audition again then.
If I go to Bangladesh after I graduate I would not be able to audition when I needed to. SIGH. And, no, Yale does not defer. Let's be honest, I'd choose Yale. But what about my soul? Will I be caught up in the cycle of needing to work on establishing my career? Will there be a "convenient" time in my life to go serve? I doubt it.
In the past week I've been thinking about my future. Yes, that's almost a constant thought, but I began seriously planning steps. Began thinking things through more.
What do I want to be? I want to be an actor. But I've also always had a large heart for philanthropy. I want to do something positive, something that really changes people's lives.
A friend of mine knows someone who went to Bangladesh for a year and worked at an orphanage. Her only assigned duty was to teach two classes each day, but she found that the real reason she was hired was to love the kids. She'd just spend time with them, play with them, hug them...Now I've never been someone who loves kids, but I've found doing massage therapy that my favorite clients are younger. Like eleven or twelve. Parents often ignore muscle pains in that age group for being growing pains and don't realize how good massage is for them. Massage also helps children develop the part of their brain that processes love. Well, physical touch does this, but massage can really help kids catch up. It's recommended by child psychologists that kids adopted from other countries receive massage so they become well-rounded individuals.
And so my heart wants two things: to go to the Yale school of drama and to go to Bangladesh.
Let's ignore for a second the fact that I will probably not get into Yale. This fall, my last year at Walla Walla, I'll apply to several masters programs, including Yale. I may be asked to fly to Chicago or San Fransisco to audition. If I get accepted, I'll go to Yale next fall. If I'm not, I'll re-apply next fall and need to audition again then.
If I go to Bangladesh after I graduate I would not be able to audition when I needed to. SIGH. And, no, Yale does not defer. Let's be honest, I'd choose Yale. But what about my soul? Will I be caught up in the cycle of needing to work on establishing my career? Will there be a "convenient" time in my life to go serve? I doubt it.
posted by Darcy at 10:30 AM
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