Academic Regret

A week or so after I graduated with my B.A. in English, I mentioned to my mom that I didn't feel satisfied with my college experience. I didn't, and don't, feel like I should be congratulated on graduating; my GPA and my areas of study have left me feeling unacademic, uneducated, unprepared, and unsatisfied. Look at the above sentences: the tenses are all screwy.

This isn't to say that I didn't learn anything; I learned a hell of a lot. My critical thinking capabilities expanded immensely and it seems I left the educational nest right when I learned how tall the tree was--not when I learned I wasn't actually a bird. Weeeee...

With many things, I try to look back and say, "No, I wouldn't do it differently; I learned and grew and became the person I am through that experience." Well currently I feel that's bullshit. I don't like the academic person I am now, and I blame that on how I behaved in college. "Try grad school!" they say. Yes, I plan to, as soon as I figure out what I want to spend 3 years and thousands of dollars on, and if I can actually get into those programs.

I know there are very few do-overs in life, so I'll phrase my answer thus: if I were to go back for another bachelor's degree, I would major in humanities and minor in philosophy and art.

I want to be able to analyze my world and think for myself. I want to be intelligent, ie, how I perceive intelligence (basically, great reasoning & logic skills). Of course, actually putting down humanities, philosophy and art make me think of all the other things I would like to study; I could be a perpetual student and perhaps never have my academic hunger sated.